Post by {Jedi}Ldr.Ender on Sept 30, 2007 18:36:20 GMT -5
Probably not as funny as the 1st and 2nd, but w/e happy birthday.
Scene III, Sith and his soldiers
Sith
soldier
ewok
Due to an abrupt laziness that the narrator is suffering from at the point of this writing, he will simply say “lots of tents near QRA palace” To describe the setting.
“Ah yes, the circle is almost complete. My cunning plans are in motion. With ender thinking he’s a chicken, and tigeress a white sissy girl, the jedi realm will soon be mine!” Sith would have rubbed his hands with glee if they weren’t raised above his head in a not-so-normal manner, “Ender and Tigeress will come to face me, and when they do, they will fall into my cunning and evil trap that no nobody knows about.”
A soldier looks at sith with a stupid look on his face, “what plan be dat ey boss?”
“The one where we lead them into a small valley and machine gun them all at once.”
Soldier: “What’s a machine gun?”
Sith: “Um, not sure, just heard you use it to kill people with.”
Soldier: “Does it require bullets?”
Sith: “What are bullets?”
Solider: “idk, something I saw on the history channel”
Sith: “WHAT?
Soldier: idk, I have cable in my tent
Sith: wtf, how?!
Soldier: oh yeah, here’s my brighthouse bill
Sith: omg....w/e, ok then, Time to fulfill my evil secret plan that nobody knows....knew....have heard...about, give every solider a machine gun *Sith begins to rub his hands, about to say “muahahahahaha,” but instead cries out when he rubs them against a splinter he had gotten on one of the happy fairy trees at the QRA palace.
The solider looks at sith with a stupid expression, “ummmmmmm, where are the machine guns?”
“Good question! I was waiting for you to say that! They are....umm....they are....”
The soldier starts looking at his tent in boredom, losing interest in anything sith is saying. Sith says, “Um, did anyone say we had machine guns?” No reply, the soldier had already gone back to his tent to play Halo.
“OMFG, no one said we had machine guns! OMG OMG To HELL with you narrator!” Sith takes out his knife to stab the soldier who was no longer there.”
“d**n noobs...” he snarls.
Sith walks into his tent and thinks of a new plan that the narrator will actually care to write about.
As sith sits down and thinks, butterflies come zooming in and out of his tent; pink ones, happy ones, disgustingly girly ones, etc.
“Ender is a fool, he will fall for any bait I lay before him, but what shall I do when he takes it...?”
A teddy bear who was a cousin of ewok came in with ewok himself and started singing barney’s “I love you” song.
“Tigeress is irrational and can easily be swayed to do irrational things with a small comment on her race...OH MY GOD I can’t function in this happy environment! How can I be evil if my head is full of happy sing-alongs, pretty flowers and fairiess, and terrified gasps whenever Tigeress breaks a nail?! OMG, YOU ALL DIE!” Sith takes a blow torch and burns everything in the tent, or tries to. Everything that was burned to ashes turned into a “=(“, Ewok turned into a “ROFL”. Sith just sits there gaping.
Sith recovers himself and snarls, cursing and cussing every other word, his voice getting louder until no one could make sense of what he was saying. A solider comes into the tent, putting on a smiley face to protect himself from the blow torch still being used to melt the tent into a hail of frowny faces.
“Sir? We have concluded that our weapons are ineffective-“
“DO YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT ALREADY? I AM GOING TO BURN THIS PLACE DOWN....”
Soldier: “Sir, we were wondering if you wanted to join the LAN party we’re having in one of the tents...”
Sith:“...WILL MAKE THIS GIRLY FILTH STAINED WITH THE BLOOD OF TIGERESS....”
Soldier: um....
Sith: “....WILL PERSONALLY GUT ANYONE WHO STANDS IN MY WAY...”
Soldier: “DARK LORD!”
Sith: “
? CAN’T YOU SEE I’M IN A RAMPAGE? LEAVE ME BEFORE I TAKE THE SKIN OFF YOUR FLESH”
Soldier: “my skin would only turn into a frown...”
Sith ignored him and continued ranting on to himself. The soldier shrugs and goes to the LAN party and takes out his cell phone to order some pizza. Sith finally says to himself, “I need to get out of this ****ed up fairy land before I take a machine gun., oh stfu narrator, and blow my brains out. SOLIDERS, PREPARE FOR A RETREAT, WE ARE GOING FARTHER INLAND. THERE’S GOTTA BE SAFER PLACES THAN THIS!”
Scene III: {Jedi}Castle, general’s headquarters
Allcaps
Ganner
Lancer
Lord.Wolf
Pathen
Girl
Ewok
Corran
For some strange reason, the narrator has had an inspiration. A vision! Now he knows he can make a very detailed and sophisticated setting that even falken would be proud of! And here it is.......oh wait nvm.
Lord.Wolf: “Greetings, my name is Lord.Wolf and I am an ambassador from another land...”
Lancer:“...He’s going to tear the QRA palace apart if he hasn’t already!! We must find Ender so we can stop this madness...”
Allcaps: “...Who cares about the QRA Palace? They’re just a bunch of noobs. I say we lead sith into a valley and machine gun them to...”
Lord.Wolf “Um...my name is Lord.Wolf and I would like to speak to someone who cares...?”
Pathen: “BOYS! Sith isn’t all as bad as you think! He can easily be overtaken...” Pathen holds up a sign that says “rawr.”
Lancer speaks in a tone similar to a father who had lost his son in a war, “He stole my cookies from me....”
Allcaps pounds his fists on his knees, “He cussed in front of my mom! I’m in trouble now, HE WILL PAY! IMA SPY ON HIS CAMP...”
Pathen, “We can’t worry about sith! He’s a nuisance, he can be delt with in due time, there are other matters...”
Ganner slams his fist on the table, “Everyone stfu now!” He gasped and gaped when they actually listen to him. He recovered himself and said, “ok now stand over there, WAY over there.” They do so. Ganner waves his hand in a dismissal manner and says, “ok w/e you can kill each other now.”
As the fight begins, ganner turns back to Lord.Wolf and says, “yes?”
Lord.Wolf stopped gaping at Girl who was gaping at everyone who was fighting, “Why yes, um, I am an ambassador and I was told Ender was here...?
“Ganner almost laughed, “He’s doing one of those disappearing-so-i-can-be-mysterious things he does like every other day. Don’t expect him back for another couple of days.”
“Um, who’s in charge..?”
“I am” replied Corran, who just bearly missed ewok who was wildly hurled at him from the fight going on at the other side of the room, “Yeah, we’re not dealing with...foreign affairs at this time.”
“Well, I’ve had a long trip and I wondered if I could stay for a couple of days..?”
“Do you really want to?” Said Corran, looking at what was left of the other side of the room. Girl had already fainted.
“Um...err...not really, I think I’ll go stay at an inn...or something, kthxbye AFK”
Corran rolls his eyes at the people fighting, gathers up girl, and leaves the room, leaving a “Enter at your own risk” sign on the door.
Ganner looks at his watch, wait for it...wait for it...now. Lancer, ewok, and allcaps lay unconscious on the floor. Pathen, unscathed, whipes her hands on allcap’s shirt.
Ganner looks at her and says, “wtf how did you win?!”
“Oh really, would you hit a girl?” Pathen holds up a sign “=P”, and leaves the room.
Allcaps stirs and mumbles, “Lag.” Lancer says something about being doubleteamed, ewok was already gone.
Well, I guess I’ll go tell the soldiers the plan, w/e the hell that is...”
Scene III, Sith and his soldiers
Sith
soldier
ewok
Due to an abrupt laziness that the narrator is suffering from at the point of this writing, he will simply say “lots of tents near QRA palace” To describe the setting.
“Ah yes, the circle is almost complete. My cunning plans are in motion. With ender thinking he’s a chicken, and tigeress a white sissy girl, the jedi realm will soon be mine!” Sith would have rubbed his hands with glee if they weren’t raised above his head in a not-so-normal manner, “Ender and Tigeress will come to face me, and when they do, they will fall into my cunning and evil trap that no nobody knows about.”
A soldier looks at sith with a stupid look on his face, “what plan be dat ey boss?”
“The one where we lead them into a small valley and machine gun them all at once.”
Soldier: “What’s a machine gun?”
Sith: “Um, not sure, just heard you use it to kill people with.”
Soldier: “Does it require bullets?”
Sith: “What are bullets?”
Solider: “idk, something I saw on the history channel”
Sith: “WHAT?
Soldier: idk, I have cable in my tent
Sith: wtf, how?!
Soldier: oh yeah, here’s my brighthouse bill
Sith: omg....w/e, ok then, Time to fulfill my evil secret plan that nobody knows....knew....have heard...about, give every solider a machine gun *Sith begins to rub his hands, about to say “muahahahahaha,” but instead cries out when he rubs them against a splinter he had gotten on one of the happy fairy trees at the QRA palace.
The solider looks at sith with a stupid expression, “ummmmmmm, where are the machine guns?”
“Good question! I was waiting for you to say that! They are....umm....they are....”
The soldier starts looking at his tent in boredom, losing interest in anything sith is saying. Sith says, “Um, did anyone say we had machine guns?” No reply, the soldier had already gone back to his tent to play Halo.
“OMFG, no one said we had machine guns! OMG OMG To HELL with you narrator!” Sith takes out his knife to stab the soldier who was no longer there.”
“d**n noobs...” he snarls.
Sith walks into his tent and thinks of a new plan that the narrator will actually care to write about.
As sith sits down and thinks, butterflies come zooming in and out of his tent; pink ones, happy ones, disgustingly girly ones, etc.
“Ender is a fool, he will fall for any bait I lay before him, but what shall I do when he takes it...?”
A teddy bear who was a cousin of ewok came in with ewok himself and started singing barney’s “I love you” song.
“Tigeress is irrational and can easily be swayed to do irrational things with a small comment on her race...OH MY GOD I can’t function in this happy environment! How can I be evil if my head is full of happy sing-alongs, pretty flowers and fairiess, and terrified gasps whenever Tigeress breaks a nail?! OMG, YOU ALL DIE!” Sith takes a blow torch and burns everything in the tent, or tries to. Everything that was burned to ashes turned into a “=(“, Ewok turned into a “ROFL”. Sith just sits there gaping.
Sith recovers himself and snarls, cursing and cussing every other word, his voice getting louder until no one could make sense of what he was saying. A solider comes into the tent, putting on a smiley face to protect himself from the blow torch still being used to melt the tent into a hail of frowny faces.
“Sir? We have concluded that our weapons are ineffective-“
“DO YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT ALREADY? I AM GOING TO BURN THIS PLACE DOWN....”
Soldier: “Sir, we were wondering if you wanted to join the LAN party we’re having in one of the tents...”
Sith:“...WILL MAKE THIS GIRLY FILTH STAINED WITH THE BLOOD OF TIGERESS....”
Soldier: um....
Sith: “....WILL PERSONALLY GUT ANYONE WHO STANDS IN MY WAY...”
Soldier: “DARK LORD!”
Sith: “
? CAN’T YOU SEE I’M IN A RAMPAGE? LEAVE ME BEFORE I TAKE THE SKIN OFF YOUR FLESH”Soldier: “my skin would only turn into a frown...”
Sith ignored him and continued ranting on to himself. The soldier shrugs and goes to the LAN party and takes out his cell phone to order some pizza. Sith finally says to himself, “I need to get out of this ****ed up fairy land before I take a machine gun., oh stfu narrator, and blow my brains out. SOLIDERS, PREPARE FOR A RETREAT, WE ARE GOING FARTHER INLAND. THERE’S GOTTA BE SAFER PLACES THAN THIS!”
Scene III: {Jedi}Castle, general’s headquarters
Allcaps
Ganner
Lancer
Lord.Wolf
Pathen
Girl
Ewok
Corran
For some strange reason, the narrator has had an inspiration. A vision! Now he knows he can make a very detailed and sophisticated setting that even falken would be proud of! And here it is.......oh wait nvm.
Lord.Wolf: “Greetings, my name is Lord.Wolf and I am an ambassador from another land...”
Lancer:“...He’s going to tear the QRA palace apart if he hasn’t already!! We must find Ender so we can stop this madness...”
Allcaps: “...Who cares about the QRA Palace? They’re just a bunch of noobs. I say we lead sith into a valley and machine gun them to...”
Lord.Wolf “Um...my name is Lord.Wolf and I would like to speak to someone who cares...?”
Pathen: “BOYS! Sith isn’t all as bad as you think! He can easily be overtaken...” Pathen holds up a sign that says “rawr.”
Lancer speaks in a tone similar to a father who had lost his son in a war, “He stole my cookies from me....”
Allcaps pounds his fists on his knees, “He cussed in front of my mom! I’m in trouble now, HE WILL PAY! IMA SPY ON HIS CAMP...”
Pathen, “We can’t worry about sith! He’s a nuisance, he can be delt with in due time, there are other matters...”
Ganner slams his fist on the table, “Everyone stfu now!” He gasped and gaped when they actually listen to him. He recovered himself and said, “ok now stand over there, WAY over there.” They do so. Ganner waves his hand in a dismissal manner and says, “ok w/e you can kill each other now.”
As the fight begins, ganner turns back to Lord.Wolf and says, “yes?”
Lord.Wolf stopped gaping at Girl who was gaping at everyone who was fighting, “Why yes, um, I am an ambassador and I was told Ender was here...?
“Ganner almost laughed, “He’s doing one of those disappearing-so-i-can-be-mysterious things he does like every other day. Don’t expect him back for another couple of days.”
“Um, who’s in charge..?”
“I am” replied Corran, who just bearly missed ewok who was wildly hurled at him from the fight going on at the other side of the room, “Yeah, we’re not dealing with...foreign affairs at this time.”
“Well, I’ve had a long trip and I wondered if I could stay for a couple of days..?”
“Do you really want to?” Said Corran, looking at what was left of the other side of the room. Girl had already fainted.
“Um...err...not really, I think I’ll go stay at an inn...or something, kthxbye AFK”
Corran rolls his eyes at the people fighting, gathers up girl, and leaves the room, leaving a “Enter at your own risk” sign on the door.
Ganner looks at his watch, wait for it...wait for it...now. Lancer, ewok, and allcaps lay unconscious on the floor. Pathen, unscathed, whipes her hands on allcap’s shirt.
Ganner looks at her and says, “wtf how did you win?!”
“Oh really, would you hit a girl?” Pathen holds up a sign “=P”, and leaves the room.
Allcaps stirs and mumbles, “Lag.” Lancer says something about being doubleteamed, ewok was already gone.
Well, I guess I’ll go tell the soldiers the plan, w/e the hell that is...”
Dues
[black]Dues[/black]
