Post by {Jedi}Ldr.Ender on Sept 12, 2007 18:09:45 GMT -5
Ok, here's my shot at a spoof story. Just to get everyone's attention, I'm going to list everyone's name who is in it: Ender, Tigeress, Corran, Lancer, MasterJedi, ewok, gannar, falken. The setting takes place in modern times/middle ages/Post Columbian times/whenever.
Oh btw most of this is coming from the "what do you think about a name" thread. And a little bit of my own observations.
Scene 1: Jedi Castle
The Narrorator is suffering from a incurable symptom of lack of creativity, and is thus requesting the reader to just take a tall tower and make it all gloomy and scary.
Stale Cookie crawls up the circling stairs in what to most people would consider to be an overexaggeratingly heroic effort. But if people knew his character and his abilities, and what he had previously gone through, they would still think that he was crawling up the stairs in an exaggeratingly heroic effort, trying to gain the sympathy of the reader. He reaches the top, stretches his hand to the door, opens it, and then stands up as if he had just had a energy boost, angry at the stupid narrorator for making the readers not feel sorry for him.
In the center of the room, with 4 stacks of books surrounding him, and wearing glasses that look as if they could pick up radar, Lord.Ender the Hegemon was taking notes and reading a horrifyingly large book on Socrates. He didn't so much as look up from his work at Lancer's.....um...arrival.
Stale Cookie shouted, "SITH IS ATTACKING THE JEDI REALM!"
Ender: Not now, I'm busy trying to decifer the 12 dimensions..
Lancer: HE'S BURNING TOWNS AND VILLAGES ALL ALONG THE BORDERS!!!"
Ender: *muttering to self*...I've almost got it, the secret to the very existance of mankind....
Lancer: HE'S KILLED MANY OF OUR SOLDIERS! HE'S ALREADY CUT OFF OUR LINE OF COOKIE SUPPLIES *begins to cry*
Ender::...Dualism has proven concise in every aspect of the materialistc world: conception and termination, amelioration and stagnation, but what of the next dimension....?
Lancer: oh by the way he called you a chicken.
At this pont the eyeglasses on Ender's face would have
shattered, if they had had any lens in them.
"WTF, that NOOB CALL ME A CHICKEN? THIS IS WAR! I'LL KILL THAT NOOB JUST FOR CONSIDERING CALLING ME A CHICKEN!!!!!! I'LL....."
As Lord.Ender the Hegemon rants on, Stale Cookie begins to look at a doorway. He begins to jump up and down and gets a very hungry look on his face.
Lancer: um...
Ender:....BURN HIM AT THE STAKE....
Lancer: errr....
Ender: ...WANT HIM TO DIE SLOWLY...
Lancer: daaaaaaaa
Ender: ...WILL PERSONALLY SET THE FIRE IN HIS FLESH...
Lancer: Lord.Ender the Hegemon!!!!
Ender: WHAT? Oh, fine, go ahead
By the time Lord.Ender the Hegemon had said "fine," there was already a hole the size of Stale Cookie (about 2 feet) in the doorway that Stale Cookie had been looking at, and through that hole could be seen Stale Cookie swimming through a large pool of 10 year old cookies.
Pause
"Hmmm." Lord.Ender the Hegemon said not so thoughtfully, "I think I'll put on my wizard's robes disappear for a couple of weeks so I can be all mysterious and people will wonder where I am so then I can make a heroic and epic entrance during some random moment." puts on the robes and flys out the window, knocking out an unexpected ewok who fell on Falken, making him paranoid of teddy bears ever since.
Oh btw most of this is coming from the "what do you think about a name" thread. And a little bit of my own observations.
Scene 1: Jedi Castle
The Narrorator is suffering from a incurable symptom of lack of creativity, and is thus requesting the reader to just take a tall tower and make it all gloomy and scary.
Stale Cookie crawls up the circling stairs in what to most people would consider to be an overexaggeratingly heroic effort. But if people knew his character and his abilities, and what he had previously gone through, they would still think that he was crawling up the stairs in an exaggeratingly heroic effort, trying to gain the sympathy of the reader. He reaches the top, stretches his hand to the door, opens it, and then stands up as if he had just had a energy boost, angry at the stupid narrorator for making the readers not feel sorry for him.
In the center of the room, with 4 stacks of books surrounding him, and wearing glasses that look as if they could pick up radar, Lord.Ender the Hegemon was taking notes and reading a horrifyingly large book on Socrates. He didn't so much as look up from his work at Lancer's.....um...arrival.
Stale Cookie shouted, "SITH IS ATTACKING THE JEDI REALM!"
Ender: Not now, I'm busy trying to decifer the 12 dimensions..
Lancer: HE'S BURNING TOWNS AND VILLAGES ALL ALONG THE BORDERS!!!"
Ender: *muttering to self*...I've almost got it, the secret to the very existance of mankind....
Lancer: HE'S KILLED MANY OF OUR SOLDIERS! HE'S ALREADY CUT OFF OUR LINE OF COOKIE SUPPLIES *begins to cry*
Ender::...Dualism has proven concise in every aspect of the materialistc world: conception and termination, amelioration and stagnation, but what of the next dimension....?
Lancer: oh by the way he called you a chicken.
At this pont the eyeglasses on Ender's face would have
shattered, if they had had any lens in them.
"WTF, that NOOB CALL ME A CHICKEN? THIS IS WAR! I'LL KILL THAT NOOB JUST FOR CONSIDERING CALLING ME A CHICKEN!!!!!! I'LL....."
As Lord.Ender the Hegemon rants on, Stale Cookie begins to look at a doorway. He begins to jump up and down and gets a very hungry look on his face.
Lancer: um...
Ender:....BURN HIM AT THE STAKE....
Lancer: errr....
Ender: ...WANT HIM TO DIE SLOWLY...
Lancer: daaaaaaaa
Ender: ...WILL PERSONALLY SET THE FIRE IN HIS FLESH...
Lancer: Lord.Ender the Hegemon!!!!
Ender: WHAT? Oh, fine, go ahead
By the time Lord.Ender the Hegemon had said "fine," there was already a hole the size of Stale Cookie (about 2 feet) in the doorway that Stale Cookie had been looking at, and through that hole could be seen Stale Cookie swimming through a large pool of 10 year old cookies.
Pause
"Hmmm." Lord.Ender the Hegemon said not so thoughtfully, "I think I'll put on my wizard's robes disappear for a couple of weeks so I can be all mysterious and people will wonder where I am so then I can make a heroic and epic entrance during some random moment." puts on the robes and flys out the window, knocking out an unexpected ewok who fell on Falken, making him paranoid of teddy bears ever since.
Dues
[black]Dues[/black]
